The most unfortunate reality about Autism is not how my child is different from others or the social problems I have to deal with. But, it’s the constant, exhausting 24/7, 365 days work I have to put in, to teach my child to demonstrate appropriate behavior so that the typical world accepts him.
Autism is a brutal reality, and it has ruined my healthy life. Autism has crushed my goals and expectations for my future.
Parenting an Autism child is hard, and I am always judging myself on every choice I make for my son; am I prompting him too much? Did I start reading late? Who is right; his teacher, his therapist or my gut feeling, and many more.
Every morning when I wake up, many emotions flood in my mind; anger, worry, envy, helplessness, confusion, pity for my family, and self-pity too.
I am angry when I see my son showing zero results despite numerous therapies. I worry that he will become dependent on his brother. It breaks my heart to see my elder son as a therapist for his brother teaching with compassion and patience, doesn’t he deserve more in this relationship? But I am helpless.
I envy my friends, as they can instantly decide for some vacation, and I pity my family gets stuck at home because of therapies. I feel self-pity that I can’t hang out with friends as my son’s therapy is the priority. Though we are a family of four, it’s always just me, dad, and my elder son talking and laughing. Girish is puzzled to get involved in our conversation and have fun with us. How painful is that?
I hate that we will be recognized as ‘the family who has an Autistic boy.’ I never wanted this life. All I asked was two beautiful children, and Autism got tagged with us. I am devastated for my family and my younger son.
As a special needs mom, such grief swings by often, and I know for you as well. I wish to get a magic wand to change the complete Disability or Mental health problem from everybody’s life. I genuinely wish I could? Can I?
Let’s celebrate a Change in you!
Sadly, no mom has the privilege to get a magic wand or change Autism. The only factor I can change is to change my attitude and mindset to Accept and Adapt to my Autism life. This is the only choice I have for the betterment and happiness of my family. Yes, Autism is hard, but changing my mindset is not hard. So, why not? So, here I am sharing my 2 secrets with you that help me to sustain in this journey.
1. 3 Ps – Positive, Patient and Persistent
As a special needs mom, I want to share 3 secret words that you should have written in your wall and glance at it when you sense the grief. It is the 3 Ps; Be Positive, Be Patient, and Be Persistent.
2. Mom’s Positive Vibrations:
Mom, don’t be harsh on yourself. Relax and have an open mind always. I never expect any results from my son, or even if I do, I remind myself to have an open mind. The benefit of an open mind is that if I catch even a little progress from my son, I celebrate the moment. That celebration gives me hope and encourages me to struggle for him further. My happiness excites my son as I transfer my positive vibes to him. Remember, A mother’s positive vibrations are essential for a child to blossom.
Throughout the Autism journey, you will feel stressed and depressed. By having these emotions, doesn’t mean that you love your child any less. Instead, the tide of emotions within you delivers a stronger mom to face the challenges with a heavy heart and hope for your child who is different but not less.
Celebrate this Mother’s day by transforming yourself as a worry-free mom. Worrying doesn’t lead you anywhere. Instead, shift your energy to hard work and determination to see your child’s progress.
The above video is from the year 2014 and 2019. I wanted to show the progress Girish has made; in the 2014 video, he is 4 and is having baby behavior. He was intense on the spectrum. Fast forward 2019, in 5 yrs, look at the academic and the cognitive progress he has achieved.
The above video reflects that worrying hasn’t brought us to where Girish is today; it is my entire family’s hard work and determination. I truly want you to get Hope for your child by seeing Girish’s progress. Few years back, I wouldn’t have thought he will come this far. But he did it!!
Mom, you are putting all your effort to teach your child life skills and make them independent. You are making a massive difference in your child’s life. Have hope that your child will grow into an incredible human being.
Mom, this Mother’s day promise yourself to love your child, hug, and kiss him/her exactly the way you did when he/she was born. Just for one day, eliminate the disability barrier from your mind.
Autism is a tough journey, with countless ups and downs. Be positive. Be patient. Be persistent. Give your best.
From one mom to another, remember that Your child is different but not Less — Never Ever lose hope.