The most unfortunate reality about Autism is not how my child is different from others or the social problems I have to deal with. But, it’s the constant, exhausting 24/7, 365 days work I have to put in, to teach my child to demonstrate appropriate behavior so that the typical world accepts him.
Autism is a brutal reality, and it has ruined my healthy life. Autism has crushed my goals and expectations for my future.
Parenting an Autism child is hard, and I am always judging myself on every choice I make for my son; am I prompting him too much? Do I need to put more effort? Who is right; his teacher, his therapist or my gut feeling, and many more.
Every morning when I wake up, many emotions flood my mind; sad, anger, worry, envy, helplessness, confusion, pity for my family, and self-pity.
I feel sad that my life has slowed down, and I lost the regular life pathway. I am angry when I see my son showing zero results despite numerous therapies. I worry that he will become dependent on his brother. It breaks my heart to see my elder son as a therapist for his brother teaching with compassion and patience, doesn’t he deserve more in this relationship? Yet, I am helpless.
I envy my friends, as they can instantly decide on a vacation, and I pity my family getting stuck at home because of therapies. I hold self-pity that I can’t hang out with my friends as my son’s therapy is the priority. Though we are a family of four, it’s always just me, dad, and my elder son talking and laughing. My younger son will happily build legos since he is confused about getting involved in our conversation. How painful is that?
I hate that we will have an identity as ‘the family who has an Autistic boy.’ I never wanted this life. All I asked was two beautiful children, and Autism got tagged with us. I am devastated for my family and my younger son.
As a special needs mom, such grief swings by often, and I know for you as well. I wish to get a magic wand to change the complete Disability or Mental health problem from everybody’s life. I genuinely wish I could? Can I?
Let’s celebrate a Change in you!
Sadly, no mom has the privilege to get a magic wand or change Autism. The only factor I can change is to change my attitude and mindset to Accept and Adapt to my Autism life for the betterment and happiness of my family. Yes, Autism is hard, but changing my mindset is not hard. So, why not?
Therefore, here I am sharing my 3 secrets with you that help me to sustain in this journey.
1. 3 Ps – Positive, Patient and Persistent
As a special needs mom, I want to share 3 secret words that you should get engraved in your wall and take a glimpse whenever you sense the grief. It is the 3 Ps; Be Positive, Be Patient, and Be Persistent.
2. Have an open mind:
Mom, relax, and have an open mind always. I never expect any results from my son, or even if I do, I remind myself to have an open mind. The benefit of an open mind is that if I catch even a little progress from my son, I celebrate the moment.
3. Mom’s Positive Vibrations:
Mom, while you celebrate a little progress, the moment will equip you with immense hope and will encourage you to strive more for your child. Your happiness will delight your child, and thus your positive vibrations transfer to him/her. Remember, A mother’s positive vibrations are essential for a child to blossom.
Throughout the Autism journey, you will feel stressed and depressed. By having these emotions, doesn’t mean that you love your child any less. Instead, the tide of emotions within you delivers a stronger mom to face the challenges with a heavy heart and hope for your child who is different but not less.
Celebrate the change in you!
Glorify the change of Acceptance in you by transforming yourself as a worry-free mom. Worrying doesn’t lead you anyplace. Instead, shift your energy to hard work and determination to see your child’s progress.
From the time my younger son got diagnosed at the age of 9 months with intense on the spectrum to this day when he is 9 years old, it has been a rough roller coaster ride with enormous challenges and struggles. Nevertheless, I am awed at the academic and cognitive progress my son has achieved today at the age of 9, though it is Kindergarten-1st grade level.
The success is my entire family’s culmination of hard work, and determination, it’s neither because of a magic wand nor worrying. I genuinely want you to get hope for your child by seeing my son’s progress. A few years back, I wouldn’t have thought he would come this far. But he did it!!
Mom, you are putting all your effort to teach your child life skills and make them independent. You are making a massive difference in your child’s life. Have hope that your child will grow into an incredible human being.
Mom, this Mother’s day promise yourself to love your child, hug, and kiss him/her exactly how you did when he/she was born. Just for one day, eliminate the disability barrier from your mind.
Autism is a tough journey, with countless ups and downs. Be positive. Be patient. Be persistent. Give your best.
From one mom to another, remember that Your child is different but not Less — Never Ever lose hope.
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